Alles Gute zum Geburtstag

^ means happy birthday in German; take a wild guess what this blog post is about…

Last Friday I turned 21 which means I can FINALLY legally drink in the US; thank goodness.

My birthdays have always been bittersweet because they force me to consider the timeline of my life. I’m sure it doesn’t get any easier with age but I think our 20s are especially difficult because they’re a time of immense change. There are so many decisions made in this decade that have the potential to change the trajectory of your life and who you are as a person. Yes, I’m talking about the “should I order Chipotle” decisions but also the “what do I want to do with my life” decisions. All these choices can be overwhelming and I often find myself thinking how my life would be different if I had chosen B instead of A; major metaverse moment.

It’s comforting to know that most people in their 20s are in the same boat that’s in the middle of nowhere, on fire, and also sinking; or so I’ve been told. What I mean by this is that most people don’t actually know what they’re doing or what their purpose is; suppose that we even have one. But it is also really easy to detrimentally compare ourselves to people our age who we think to be more 'successful'. Sometimes I can’t shake the feeling that other people’s success and happiness somehow take away from my own; like there’s a finite amount of good things that go around. But this year, specifically this past summer I think I realized why I feel this way.

This summer I worked at DocuSign and had the opportunity to talk with an Account Executive on my team. She told me that the secret to her success was simply that she only competed with herself and not others; every month she set goals for herself to be the new and improved version of herself one month ago. This conversation made me realize the importance of focusing on yourself. There will always be someone who's more 'successful' but success means something different for everyone. So instead of worrying about everyone else cuz that is simply too tiring, live for yourself. Do things that make you happy. Not your parents. Not your friends. But you. This’ll make you feel like the amount of success and happiness in the world is infinite.

Apologies for all the cheese in this post but I have a couple other takeaways from my 20th year that might just resonate with you as well:

Takeaway #1: Celebrate small victories

• Don’t wait until you’ve reached a goal to be happy because then you’ll never reach the goal or be happy

• Every marathon starts with 1 step

• Book recommendation: Atomic Habits

Takeaway #2: Be proud of how far you’ve come

• My family says “I’m proud of you” with a bowl of fruit. If you can relate or the people in your life don’t tell you enough, then tell it to yourself

• Or, give yourself a high-five in the mirror

• Podcast recommendation: The Mel Robbins Podcast (High-five habit)

Takeaway #3: Be grateful

• Whether it’s just noting one thing in your morning that you’re grateful for or writing it down in a journal, I promise it’ll make you appreciate what you have and make you forget what you don’t

• Life recommendation: Get a journal

I think the ‘bitter’ part of my bittersweet birthdays come from the practice of focusing on what I haven’t accomplished in my life versus what I have. So this year, I sat down and actually wrote down a list of milestones, big and small, and they are the following: In my 20th year I joined an a capella group, started this blog, lived alone for 4 months, became an e-signature fanatic, (finally) got my driver’s license, and moved to Vienna by myself. If you too have an existential crisis every birthday, maybe you can make a list like this and realize how truly awesome you are :)

Thank you for reading this post and I hope it wasn’t all too sappy for you!