I always thought finding my identity was a journey that I’d embark upon in my late twenties; I would have a groundbreaking realization and take a trip across the world. Unfortunately, we don’t live on the sets of Eat Pray Love─ real identity crises often hit early, and they hit hard.
Navigating university can be a daunting task. At least for me, it was the first time that I was forced to act like an adult and take responsibility for my life. Students entering this competitive atmosphere are highly impressionable, as they are simultaneously trying to organize their career, social life, and extracurriculars. Being unsure of your identity only exaggerates the chaos and throws you deeper into the rabbit hole of life. But how are we supposed to figure out who we are at 18 years old?
Truth is, if you have it all figured out by then, you are 100 steps ahead of everyone else. The important part is that you remain patient, and give yourself time. Its so easy to compare yourself to others and their journeys, but no one has the same circumstances, goals, or personality, We’re all unique, and accepting that is the first step to discovering your identity. Growing up, I never understood the significance of learning about my culture. Like all first-generation immigrants, I felt like I was being raised with a dual identity; I was subconsciously adapting to the people around me in order to fit in. Somewhere in this process of convincing myself that I was just like everyone else, I began losing sight of who I really was.
Fitting in does not mean changing yourself to be like others. Your heritage is part of your identity; it enriches your life not tarnishes it. So whether you are in university or in the workplace, you should be proud of where you come from.
One of the biggest parts of university is making friends. I literally dont know where I would be without mine. I cant stress this enough: when you’re meeting people, be yourself. I know that sounds so overused and easy to say, but the right friends will accept you as you are and make your life 100x better.
Another important part of owning your identity is being compassionate to yourself. If you’re anything like me, you don’t feel great when you don’t achieve your expectations. Every individual has so much negative bias, experiences, and obstacles that has shaped them; be empathetic towards yourself. The more self-acceptance you have, the more happiness you’ll let yourself accept.
“Life can be messy and imperfect, while still being beautiful."
So maybe we don’t get to travel the world and find our identity (or maybe you do, in which case, that’s amazing). Regardless, what matters is that we’re trying. Life can be messy and imperfect, while still being beautiful. To be honest, I still haven’t completely figured out who I am. But I’m okay with that.
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